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Not Alone

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I wrote this article sometime in 2020 for my University’s fellowship magazine. I hope it encourages you as you journey through life.

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When I was little, we had this framed poem titled “footprints in the sand” and its about a young man asking God why at certain points in his life, he couldn’t feel God’s presence with him.
Isaiah 43:2 KJV says ” When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.”
It’s quite easy for Christians to forget God’s promise to us. When Jesus was on earth,he told his disciples that after he ascended to heaven, he was going to send another helper, the Holy spirit that will be with them forever. This promise is seen in John 14:16–17  which says “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you”
We might think Jesus was saying that the giving of the Spirit would be the consequence of keeping His commandments, that we somehow earn the Spirit by our obedience. That is not what Jesus meant. He was speaking of realities of the Christian life, not consequences of an action. He meant once  an individual accepts jesus christ as their Lord and savior, they have a free access to this reality
Other versions use the words comforter, counsellor, advocate, friend.
It’s the Holy Spirit who gives us the power to follow Jesus. He speaks to us about who Jesus is, what He has taught (John 14:26), convicts us of righteousness (John 16:8), and guides us to the truth (John 16:13).  It’s important to know that the Holy Spirit will never guide us to say or do anything that does not align with Scripture.
Once we understand and accept this reality, we have to then learn to recognise when he is ministering to us, and obeying his leadings.
He will never leave us or let us down. If we let Him, He will help us to follow Jesus for all of our days.

Footprints in the sand

Wishing you Gods love, favour and direction.

Fayshally

God Moves In A Mysterious Way

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For the past 2 weeks, I had been feeling down. Discouraged by everything happening around me. It seemed everyone was moving up in life; getting married, getting a new job, going on vacations, etcetera. While it looked like I was stuck at the same place for a long time, with nothing to show as my dividend for all my Struggles. Two days ago, while doing my devotion, I came across a hymn titled “God moves in a mysterious way by Jeremy Riddle”. I was greatly encouraged on reading this.

God Moves In A Mysterious Way by Jeremy Riddle

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm
Deep in unsearchable mines
Of never-failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will
And ye fearful saints, fresh courage take
The clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings, yeah, in blessings
And in blessings on your head
On your head
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense
But trust Him for His grace
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face
His purposes will ripen fast
Unfolding every hour
The bud may have a bitter taste
But sweet will be the flower
And ye fearful saints, fresh courage take
The clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings, yeah, and in blessings, yeah
And In blessings on your head
And on your head
On your head
On your head
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain
For God is His own interpreter
And He will make it plain
In His own time
In His own way
In His own time
In His own way

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jeremy Riddle
God Moves In A Mysterious Way lyrics © Mercy Vineyard Publishing

Be encouraged today. For God Moves in mysterious ways and he will make all things beautiful in its time. So, cheer up and chin up my friend. Great things await you ahead.

Cheers!

XOXO

Fayshally

WAITING

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While growing up, I had a timetable I figured my life would follow. A perfect little schedule: finish high school at 17, get into university immediately, graduate at 24 and get married at 26, have my first child at 27. But all that didn’t work. Especially regarding relationships. I’d always been confident in my singleness, I believed whenever it was time, I’d meet the right one. I figured when I got into the final year in university, I’ll be in a steady relationship and eventually get married. Along the way, I got into entanglements that left my heart broken and yearning to experience real love and not the pain I had. The more I got my heart broken, the more I yearned for love, a never ending circle of pain and longing.

Song of Songs 2:7 NIV says
“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires”.

I never really understood what it meant. I thought it was a warning on getting into relationships one wasn’t sure of. But sometime this morning , it suddenly dawned on me that it teaches one of the greatest lessons on love in the bible. Imagine what it’ll be like if we all waited for the right one sent by God to come our way before we fall in love, rather than moving from one person to another with the hopes of stumbling across Mr/Mrs Right along the way. If only I had waited for the love that God ordained, I wouldn’t have found myself in that circle. With nothing to show but scars.

Thinking back, I think the reason I lost faith along the way was because I got scared about ending up as an unmarried thirty something old spinster with nothing to show but regrets. A lot of friends were getting into relationships, engaged, married, and having kids. But here I was, single pringle and hoping that God sends Mr Right along. And what if I was wrong, what if God didn’t have a plan for me.

Love is a wonderful and great feeling, an emotion God himself understands. He wants us to enjoy it in its fullest, and not in half measures. I’m not totally where he wants me to be; safe and confident in my singleness. Knowing that when the right time comes, God will make it work.

I’m gradually making my way back there, learning to believe again and trusting that his plans will give me a future with an expected good end. Learning to live one day at a time. It isn’t so easy. But his grace and mercy will surely lead me on.

Here’s me wishing you a wonderful day.

Checks and balances

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“You’ll be fine”

That’s my mantra,

What I say when the night seems unending,

When the dark threatens to overwhelm me,

And my demons rattle their chains.

“you’ll be Okay” I say,

A sweet lullaby to my ears.

The night ended and sunshine shone brightly the next day.

But I couldn’t help thinking about loses and gains.

The little pieces of me that didn’t make it out,

The spaces they left behind.

Doors that have been locked forever,

And the scars I’ll have to learn to live with.

So yeah, I survived the night, came out victorious.

But was it worth the cost?

Birthdays

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I turn 25 today. Yay! To me.
I’m having mixed feelings about it though.
On one hand, I’ve achieved a lot at this age, and at the other end, I’m not where I imagined I’d be at this age.

I mean, I wrote my finals and became a doctor at 24.
I’m healthy and never had to be admitted in the hospital.
I have a great family.
I’m a wonderful sister to my siblings and an awesome aunt to my niece’s.
But that about where the achievements end. Maybe there are more, but they don’t readily come to mind.

Then, there are the other reasons.
I’m 25 and I’ve never been in a relationship. I figured I’ll be in a committed relationship at this age. But here am I, single
My life so far, hasn’t been fun. I’ve always been the girl who obeyed the rules and walked the straight line. And now, I’m starting to recognise the things I lost on the way. No adventures, no relationships, no risks taken. To give you a glimpse of what I mean, I went on my first date this year. At 24 years. That’s how “bad” the situation is/was.

Maybe I’m just a girl ranting about her life and being ungrateful for what she has. Whatever it may be. I’m still thankful I’ve gotten this far in life.
So here’s me wishing myself “A very Happy Birthday”
And cheers to a better and bigger tomorrow.

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The Christmas Cheer.

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Christmas has always being my favourite time of the year: the excitement, the songs, the palpable joy on people’s faces, families coming together to celebrate, the food and drinks, and so much more.

This year, as Christmas drew nearer, I realised I wasn’t excited about it as I used to be. Maybe it’s because I was constantly at work and I didn’t get to hear the Christmas songs in town and see the preparations as I had previously, because I was going to be working on Christmas day. But whatever the reason may be, I wasn’t looking forward to Christmas.

2 days to Christmas, I decided to rewatch one of my favourite childhood animations, “The Polar Express”, Its a Christmas animation about a young boy who was getting to age where christmas wasn’t as alluring as it used to be. He unexpectedly gets a ticket aboard a train called the polar express which makes yearly trips around Christmas picking up little children to go see Santa  Claus physically. At the end of the movie, the boy gets back his belief about Christmas.

I honestly can’t remember what lead me to do so. But afterwards, I was glad I did. It gave me a glimpse of how I looked forwards to Christmas in the past. Even when my Christmas turned out to be ordinary. So I decided to go download christmas songs and listen to them as I worked. A few hours later, the Christmas cheer was coming back to me.

The profound lesson this left me with is, if I can’t find the cheer and joy around me, I’ll go create mine. So go create yours. Find your joy and soak it up.

So, This is me wishing you guys a Merry Christmas.
Have fun today. Eat and drink and be merry.
And don’t forget, Jesus is the reason for the reason.
Cheers.

Melancholy, My Friend

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My emotions are blue,
As blue as the sea.

My fear is deep,
As deep as the unsearched portions of the pacific.

My anxiety is wide,
As wide as the North is from the south.

They are my constant friends,
Invisible shadows drawing me into the darkness,
Luring me with promises of a changeless milieu,
And I follow diligently,
For they’re companions I’ve come to love,
Even though they’re bad for me.

Melancholy, My Friend

The End of the Line

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On Saturday afternoon, I opened my WhatsApp app to read my messages and I read one that left me feeling cold, hollow and numb for a while. A classmate of mine in the University, Ab as he was popularly called, had died some few hours earlier.

One never really gets used to receiving the news of the death of a friend, acquaintance or relative. He wasn’t the first person to die from my class, but his seems to be the most painful for me. He died after struggling for his life in the hospital following a thermal burn. For 3 months he had battled with breathing problems, anaemia, dehydration, weakness, and more. We all thought he was getting better, alas not.

Abraham Otokwula

With Abs death, I’m left with the bitter taste of regret, of not knowing him more. Maybe I should have tried harder to know him better, because he really was a nice person. He had a lot more life to live. A lot more firsts to experience and more impact to make on the world. He was on his way to the becoming a medical doctor, just a semester more and he’d have the prefix “Doctor” added to his name forever.

For some, death moves them to introspection, asking if they’re really living their lives, for others it reminds them of the shortness of life and moves them to love others with a fiercer love. For me, it’s reminds me that one day, death will come knocking on my door, and when he comes, will I be ready?
It’s not that I’m particularly attached to this life, because I’m honestly not. But I don’t want to reach the end of my life with a lot of “what ifs” and not a lot of “I’m glads”.

I hope it is true that a man can die and yet not only live in others but give them life, and not only life, but that great consciousness of life.

Jack Kerouac

I was moved to ask this question, then what was the purpose of it all? If it meant he and others wouldn’t enjoy the fruit of his and their labours. As others mourned for him, I got to see snippets of his life I hadn’t known about beforehand. He loved God a lot and was a passionate advocate for living ones life to the fullest and involving God in all we do. Coming to this realization added a bit of salve to an open wound. Knowing that while he was alive, he lived his life with little worries and complains. He was a naturally funny person and his laughter and comedy will be solely missed.

All life will come to an end one day, but the journey between here and there is what matters

At moments such as this, I’m reminded of the futility of life in general. All life will come to an end one day, but the journey between here and there is what matters: The impact we make on the world, the smiles we left on people’s faces, the sunshine we added to a dull life, and the little light we gave to illuminate someone else’s way in life. I’m glad he understood this while alive.

Dr Abraham Adakole Otokwula was laid to rest at his home town in Benue State Nigeria on Saturday, the 27th day of June 2020. Right now all one can do is pray for God’s comfort to saturate his family and the people he left behind. Comfort for his dear mother, sister, brother, niece, and friends.

Rest in peace Ab, till we meet to part no more.

The Fence

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It started as something innocent,
A fence to keep the predators away from the beauty within.
As people passed along it, they couldn’t help but take a piece with them,
A memento to remember this rare encounter,
Time passed, and the fence changed,
A bit of reinforcement here and there,
More wood to make it less accessible,
A bit of concrete to make it stronger,
Till it became an ominous hedge,
That hid the radiance within,
Leaving a lonely wilting flower left asking
“how did it get all wrong?”